Thoughts I Have While Grocery Shopping

Ever since I moved out of my parents’ house in March and started living on my own, I’ve had to start grocery shopping for myself, something I have come to deeply loathe. But just about every week, I find myself writing out a grocery list as I go through the chore of trying to figure out what I’m going to cook in the next few days to come. I load up my reusable shopping bags into the car and drive the fifteen or so minutes to my nearest Aldi, and when I’ve found all that I can find there, I sweep by Meijer to buy the last few things on my list.

It goes a little something like this.

1. Alright, I’m off. Hopefully things won’t be absurdly busy at this time.
2. Aww, crap. The parking lot looks packed.
3. Let’s get this over with.
4. Why do people always have to be standing in front of the things I need?
5. Better pretend to look for something else while I wait for them to move.
6. Oh. My. Gosh.
7. People are EVERYWHERE.
8. I hate this.
9. This sucks.
10. Power through, Allison. Power through.
11. Oh, geez. A screaming kid.
12. Why do they always have to have their fits in grocery stores?
13. Honestly, though, I feel ya, kid. I want to go home, too.
14. Someday, you’ll learn to cry about it on the inside, like I am right now.
15. PEOPLE. PEOPLE EVERYWHERE.
16. Excuse me, please…
17. UGH.
18. Sorry, am I in your way? Sorry, sorry, sorry!
19. These bags are getting so heavy, ugh!
20. Screw this.
21. Screw my life.
22. Okay, do I have everything I need?
23. I think so.
24. WAIT, NO I DON’T! Aghhhhh!
25. Alright, time to go to checkout.
26. Annnnndddd it’s packed.
27. At least the line is moving pretty quickly.
28. Too quickly.
29. Gahhh, stop moving, conveyor belt! I’m not done loading up my groceries yet, and there’s a person in front of me!
30. Alright, my turn.
31. I’m going to say that yes, I found everything okay, even if I didn’t.
32. Should I start re-bagging my groceries now?
33. Should I go ahead and swipe my card?
34. No, I’ll wait.
35. Alright, time to gather my stuff now.
36. Need to hurry, need to hurry…without letting anything get crushed…
37. Gahhh, this is so stressful!
38. Cashier and person behind me, I’m sorry I’m being so slow.
39. Whew, I’m done! Okay, gotta get my keys and go back to the car.
40. Pulling out of the parking space is so stressful.
41. Off to Meijer now.
42. Ugh, traffic. I hate traffic.
43. I hate people.
44. This parking lot is a pain in the butt.
45. Oh, gosh, the greeter at the door is saying hello to me.
46. I don’t know what to do.
47. I’m so awkward.
48. They probably think I’m rude…
49. I’m sorry, I’m just shy!
50. Annnnddddd…it’s packed here, too.
51. Fantastic, more screaming kids.
52. SO. MANY. PEOPLE.
53. This is the problem with working a 9 to 5 job. I have no choice but to go grocery shopping at the same time as everyone else.
54. Power through, Allison. You can do this.
55. This sucks. I want to go home.
56. Okay, checkout time.
57. Great, there’s a line.
58. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE IN THE “20 ITEMS OR FEWER” CHECKOUT LANE, SIR!
59. Stores need two different kinds of checkout lanes: one for people who have their sh*t together, and one for people who don’t.
60. Alright, there’s an empty lane over there.
61. Time to hit “I brought my own bag” like three times before the machine finally registers what I’m trying to do.
62. OMG, the item is in the bagging area, you limp potato!
63. “Unexpected item in the bagging area?” OH, FOR THE LOVE OF…
64. Alright, look around. Is there a store person nearby who can help?
65. Yay, thank you store person!
66. These automated checkout machines are so annoying.
67. Alright, I’m done. Thank God! Time to get out of here.